I dont trust my scales

So after my last entry which was a really really long time ago ive gone through ups, downs bigger, smaller and now I dont trust my scales.
Im feeling everything i mentioned at my 3 month mark but now I sort of feel like a failure, ive done my back in, my grandfather died, my other grandfather got sick and needed to be put in a home, this year has been so full on and stressful I just feel that at the end of the day I'm neglecting myself again.

I actually started eating fast food again (Thank goodness i stopped that) and it caused me to get sick but i went to 110kgs again. then to 109 at my last fill

Since my last fill 4weeks ago apparently Ive gone down to 104.6kgs. now here is the reason for my heading. I DON'T TRUST MY SCALES!!!! I don't think they are accurate, granted it has been gradually going down and I have been rather sick this last week i just don't think its right, i don't feel any different, I asked my mum and she said she could notice changes but i cant notice 5kgs of changes on my body.

I got new fancy scales that measure everything like fat and water content but i still don't think they are right but I'm terrified of stepping on my surgeons scales at my next weigh in in case its wrong and Ive gained weight.

I wish i knew how much this process really screwed with your head as I'm going a little bit crazy

I just wish i had the belief in myself that my scales are right and I'm losing the weight i so desperately need to lose

Until next time :)