6.4mls

So currently I am having trouble eating anything at all... Everything sticks or comes back up last time I had an actual meal was 4 days ago since then it has been up and go water and a cup a soup

I don't really feel hungry but I'm starting to get really light headed and head achey not to mention my throat hurts from food not staying down... I keep telling myself it will be all worth it but I just need to see something more on the horizon

I asked my surgeon to put a fill in a few weeks back but only having trouble now... Trying to get back in to see him hopefully he doesn't have to take too much out

Time will tell

I dont trust my scales

So after my last entry which was a really really long time ago ive gone through ups, downs bigger, smaller and now I dont trust my scales.
Im feeling everything i mentioned at my 3 month mark but now I sort of feel like a failure, ive done my back in, my grandfather died, my other grandfather got sick and needed to be put in a home, this year has been so full on and stressful I just feel that at the end of the day I'm neglecting myself again.

I actually started eating fast food again (Thank goodness i stopped that) and it caused me to get sick but i went to 110kgs again. then to 109 at my last fill

Since my last fill 4weeks ago apparently Ive gone down to 104.6kgs. now here is the reason for my heading. I DON'T TRUST MY SCALES!!!! I don't think they are accurate, granted it has been gradually going down and I have been rather sick this last week i just don't think its right, i don't feel any different, I asked my mum and she said she could notice changes but i cant notice 5kgs of changes on my body.

I got new fancy scales that measure everything like fat and water content but i still don't think they are right but I'm terrified of stepping on my surgeons scales at my next weigh in in case its wrong and Ive gained weight.

I wish i knew how much this process really screwed with your head as I'm going a little bit crazy

I just wish i had the belief in myself that my scales are right and I'm losing the weight i so desperately need to lose

Until next time :)

3months and 10 days later

SO I have been slack....
I should have kept up with my blog but I just keep putting it off which is all types of unhealthy.
Ive found Twitter is one of the best places to find support since being banded #WLS #Lapband are the two hashtag searches that have made me see other people understand what I am going through.

Since I had the band I have Lost weight, gained weight and finally this last month really lost weight.
I have had 2 fills so far and Im going for a 3rd tomorrow

I honestly thought the process would be easier but Ive found it is a real emotional and mental adjustment, one i thought I was completely ok with
I can no longer drink fizzy drinks as they give me shoulder tip pain and fast food hasnt really touched my lips since the surgery but in saying that all the food ive eaten hasnt been entirely healthy, the first week after surgeory i lived on ice poles, fruit juice, up & go, soup then the second week pureed vegetables and blended soup.

then i started having other things like casseroles and then after a month i started eating some meat, and then when i could eat meat i started eating things like fish fingers and and lots of pasta and rice.

before my surgery i gained 2kgs, after m surgery i lost 5kgs in my first week then i gained 1 kgs by the time my 1mth surgeon check came around in feb... in march id gained another kg im now 3.5kgs down from my march weigh in \.

i noticed i dont eat as much as i use to and i get full alot quicker. i dont pick off peoples plates and i dont go back for seconds.
i hope the surgeon gives me another fill tomorrow as i like the feeling this is giving me and I dont want it to stop


this has been me rambling but is 11.30pm and im tired and nervous about tomorrows weigh in

The first day of the rest of my life

On December 21 2010 I met with Dr Tony Patinotis to discuss the lap band procedure.
On January 24th 2011 at approximately 10.30AM I went and had the surgery at the Hobart Private hospital.

I remember the operating room  it was bright sunny and clean. I don't remember seeing Tony but I remember talking to the anesthesiologist and having things stuck on my shoulders and then waking up in recovery

I did not have the ideal wake up after the surgery I had a fair bit of pain which was treated with morphine in the recovery room, i woke up briefly about 2pm and  was in and out of a drowsy sleep for the remainder of the evening.

I remember my family coming in but I do not remember much else between the hours of 2 and 7. Out of everything I have worked out anesthetic, morphine and me don't mix well. I was given fluids and a small clear soup in the hospital although I was not overly hungry.
I did however have several intravenous doses of panadol from when i woke up after the surgery to when i woke up on the 25th.

I woke up properly after the surgery around 7.30pm and i finished off my dinner that was brought to me around 5pm.
My parents had come back and my mum helped me get changed as i was still not quite at my best.
After they left i drifted in and out of sleep.
I had a room mate who had the surgery roughly the same time as me so we were both going through similar experiences.
When I woke up this morning Id only had several hours sleep but I was relatively pain free. My first shower was interesting and a minor bit painful, I couldn't move much and I was a bit bloated but I got washed and in and out of the shower in a reasonable amount of time.
I was then sent downstairs for a xray which showed everything was where it was meant to be, I had to wait an extra 2hours to be discharged.

Im now at home, in a little bit of pain, but generally ok, will go back to the surgeon in 4weeks.

For lunch I had a cream of chicken cup a soup and then pumpkin velish mixed with cream for dinner.